


Wish Upon a Gravity Well

by Micha247



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Crack-ish, Dimension Travel, Exasperated Harry Potter, Explicit Language, HP: EWE, Humor, Master of Death, Multi, Rating May Change, Sassy Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 20:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13865169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Micha247/pseuds/Micha247
Summary: Harry has had quite enough of all this saviour business. He'd rather spend his, apparently eternal, days smelling rose bushes and petting stray kneazles.Maybe watch the world burn with a bucket of quality popcorn along the way, but hey, he's not picky.Fortunately, Death knows just what to do.





	Wish Upon a Gravity Well

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome! There will be short chapters until I get the ball rolling, plot-wise.

Harry Potter was a lot of things.

He was most commonly known to his community as The-Boy-Who-Lived, and had been so since he was 18 months old.

Later on, that same community would both praise and condemn him in turn. At times it seemed like it changed from day-to-day. One day, their saviour, the next, a liar and silly child. 

Harry didn’t mind too much, his friends always stood by him—well, mostly. Perhaps, 90% of the time.

He always had a wonderful time at his school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He could do without the end of the year, potentially deadly, “adventures”, but it was much better than the Dursleys, he could say that much!

Voldemort was a bit much, too... but it wasn’t like it was _Harry’s_ fault that he had a mass-murdering insane psychopath fixated on him due to a, frankly, vague and misleading prophecy partially overheard at a bar by a questionably-loyal sycophant! 

Honestly, who does that?!

...Harry never did finish that last year of schooling, either, despite the obligatory battle for his life at the end. He really did die this time, too. He feels that is an important bit to mention, even if it was for, like, only a second.

Yet, despite all that, he ended up saving the day through the power of friendship, possible obscure blood-magics, necromantic artifacts of untold power, and a very well-aimed disarming spell.

All in all, Harry knew that he wouldn’t change a th—

Actually, you know what?

Harry most certainly would change all of that. Harry felt that quite a bit of all that shite was greatly unecessary on many levels, thanks! Loads of people who died really didn’t have to, he feels. People he really liked! People he didn’t like all that much died, too! People he didn’t even have a peripheral awareness of, even!

Let’s just say, there was a lot of death on all sides.

So, here Harry was, having just assisted-suicide-ed Lord Voldemort, surrounded on all sides by friend and foe alike, and also a lot of other dead people, at the school he called home for six-ish years. It was all very grand and epic, there had been speeches and monologues and quite well-timed reveals. A story for the ages, many would say. Harry would say so, too, if it wasn’t for the fact that at this very moment all he really wanted was to sleep for about 48 hours, and maybe have a sandwich and a spot of tea. 

There was also the small issue he was having a very difficult not bursting into hysterical giggles, because he had just realized that Voldemort’s AKA Tom Riddle’s body was lying in the exact spot he had seen Draco Malfoy turn into a ferret during fourth year. 

Harry really was trying to contain himself, but with all the shocked staring—so very similar to The Amazing Bouncing Ferret Incident—it was getting quite difficult. Hopefully, they thought his trembling was due to a sense of victory, and holy-god-it’s-finally-over-ness, rather than giggles. 

Speaking of shocked staring, Harry should probably do something about that. Perhaps they need some sort of rousing speech? Or maybe, he should kick Voldemort? Some metaphorical action to symbolize the end of conflict, or something? Kicking might be a bad idea, sends the wrong message, Harry thinks (no matter how very tempting it may be). He was fresh out of pep-talks, too... Something else, then?

Harry looked down at the Elder Wand.

Harry set Voldemort’s body on fire with the most powerful wand in existence.

There was a whimper somewhere off to his left. Harry thought this would be enough to get people moving, but it seemed that instead of staring at him, they were now gaping at the slowly roasting corpse of Lord Voldemort. Was it not decisive enough? Harry thought it was quite nice, considering he could have done much worse. He was getting a bit annoyed, though. Why couldn’t they all just get moving, already? What else could he do?!

Harry looked back down at the Elder Wand.

_Well, beggars can’t be choosers._

Harry snapped the Elder Wand.

It fizzed a bit where it broke, and there was a shocked gasp from at least two people, but it seemed to get the job done. 

Suddenly, there was a wave of action from the students. It seemed Harry had started a trend, because there was quite a few shouted disarming spells thrown at the remaining Death Eaters. Bodies hit the ground with loud thumps. There was a great cheer from everyone in the hall that was conscious. Harry spotted Dennis Creevey viciously kicking his downed Death Eater in the groin. 

Harry was very proud.

A little jealous, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos always appreciated. Please point out any discrepancies or typos.


End file.
